December 19th: Perseverance in Peppermint Scented Times

I needed to jot some things down before Christmas gets here.

I'm finding the silver lining, however minuscule it may be at the moment. Work's been rough these last few days. Although I'm making money, the circumstances have been bleak.

A few moments within the dark clouds kept me wanting to write this blog post. It was starting to form in my mind over the days, and I wasn't sure when I would be writing it. After the day finally calmed down, I decided it was time.

I can feel the overthinking and depressive thoughts sinking in, and I want so badly to "get over myself" and enjoy my holiday. However, it fluctuates so much that I can never tell when I'll start to feel like this.

Now, I'm no expert. These are just my personal experiences and feelings that I'm comfortable sharing.

I was driving alone in my car around midnight the other day, and loneliness was very adamant. So, I rolled down the windows just slightly (because it was freezing) and sang specifically 'Daylight' by Taylor Swift. I got lost trying to get out of the neighborhood, so I saw all the Christmas lights (which is one of my favorite things to see). It was a quiet drive that grounded me back down.

It helped me realize that life is made up of little moments. Clips of something bigger than ourselves. Perseverance isn't a thing you're born with. It's developed through years of brick walls, preventing you from advancing.

I was getting into my head, and my thoughts were taking over not even five minutes ago. I had both my headphones in, absorbing the music. I was trying to process all that had just happened.

I glanced over and saw my neighbors at the door. Even though I probably looked like I was about to cry, they sang a short Christmas carol and gave me cookies they'd made, wishing me a Merry Christmas. I smiled and thanked them and thought I would add that moment to my blog.

You can feel overwhelmed and depressed, and good events still can happen. Genuine people still exist in their generosity and kindness. So if those neighbors even come across this (I'll probably even send it to them), thank you for doing that. It means more than you know.

Persist and be valiant in your endeavors.

Let go of the deaf ears that you try to reason with.

Remember, you're worth everything and so much more.

You exist for a reason. You're alive on this planet for a reason. Go discover it.