December 6th: It All Starts Here (Please Tell Me You Guys Know The Goonies)

It's been another long time since I've written on here. It's finals season, but that's really not an excuse. I just haven't had the motivation to write. I've intended to do it, but it seems tedious every time I think about sitting my butt down and actually doing it. Which isn't the case. The final papers are dull. My writing is not. I have to keep reminding myself of that. Writing shouldn't be work. It should be a break, watching my fingers type out the words I've wanted to say. This blog is whatever I want it to be. I have that freedom if I want to share a poem, a fun project, or just vent.

I've been trying to grow the community on the website, but I'm starting to realize that not many people will read this until I become well known (calling it now, this will be embarrassing, but I also predicted the whole thing at 1:55 pm on 12/6/21)

I got told today that my college's literary magazine didn't take my entries. Not because it was poorly written or anything, it just didn't fit the theme they were going for. The teacher that told me told me to never stop writing despite that. And I won't. I know I'm a college freshman, and I won't be recognized right now. That's okay. Even if there's no payoff with your efforts, you should still keep trying.

I wrote my whole damn English final about success and how trying can lead to what we want out of our lives. I would probably be more bummed earlier in my life like everyone hates me and my content. That isn't true. I won't believe it to be true. Everything I'm going right now: this blog, my manuscript drafts, poems, and other projects is what matters.

No one said this was going to be easy. I don't expect it to be. This semester's been one of ups and downs, depressive states, and genuine elation. I'm getting used to this college thing. I'm responsible for myself, and my choices will befall the next semester and year of the experience. It's terrifying but less so. I feel more prepared for the terror.

Here's the blog part where all the pictures I took for the said blog are explained in pure Abby wacky detail.

The sunlight reflects off the leaves if you look close enough. I caught this picture walking back from treadmilling at the gym. I haven't been in a routine of working out, but that's one of my goals for the spring semester: to get better at making myself the best I can physically, mentally and emotionally. Baby steps are usually wise.

They had a DIY smores station in the dining hall! The little flames gave me instant serotonin. This was a nice treat to have after a long day :)

After three back-to-back classes, this event caught my eye. They had hot drinks, free gum, pins, face masks and coloring sheets. I colored mine watching Endgame that night with my roommate. Even though I should have started on my seminar essay, I needed a mental health break.

God, my dorm had the best sunsets. I just glance over and see the most inspiring colors painting in the sky. As Sam Taylor said "carved the sky into song." I agree with that statement, and intend to write more poetry in the following year. 2022 sounds so wrong in my mouth. I asked my roommates if everything is a paradox and we're still living in 2020, and they politely told me to shut up. I'm going to miss them, but we had a Christmas movie night and gift exchange last night. Christmas Vacation was a joy to re-watch. I have more journals now that are so pretty, I don't have fancy enough words to fill the pages.

Random book recommendation plug: THE LAND OF STORIES SERIES. If you love fantasy, witty dialogue, Chris Colfer, Conner Bailey, Alex Bailey, CHARLOTTE BAILEY, humor, fun loving twin shenanigans, and a nostalgic feeling when reading, I recommend the Wishing Spell. It is my absolute childhood, and I was reading it again and it's still just as good as when I read it the very first time.

I went to an interactive Madrigal medieval play/choir performance dinner. The characters joined conversations at the tables, sang goofy songs and played their parts with such fantastical joy. It was a different experience for sure, but I had a ton of fun being a part of the magic.

Several things caught my eye in these last few days. I wrote some special letters for my roommates, thanking them for putting up with me. I had some broke college student wrapping. I really should have remembered to bring my gift bags. Oh, well. It was made with love and that's what counts.

I'll be writing hopefully more since winter break starts tomorrow after my very last final!

If you're finding trouble finding motivation, switch up your study spot. Find some sunshine. I don't know what kind of crack it has, but it immediately makes me feel better. Get some water. Don't forget to treat yourself, especially during the holiday season. Reminder that people love you and care about you. If you don't have anyone, feel free to email me. I'm here to listen to anyone who's feeling the deep stuff about family, money troubles etc.

Be conscious and smart. Pick up a comfort book and thumb the pages as you remember why you love it so much. Tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them because anyone can use that. We got this <3