February 2, 2022 (2/2/22): There's That Word "Future" Again

Being 'truly in the moment is harder than it seems. Be present in the day you're living, and everything will fall into place. The future can wait, and try not to dwell on the possibilities.

However, tomorrow is the future. Every day beyond this one becomes "the future." What defines it is the endless scenarios and situations. The moment isn't always experienced the same. Some stare off into the beyond and think about how their lives should be going. Others just dance with their drink in their hand, carefree.

I've always desired the latter, more carefreeness and not giving two hecks about the next five or ten years. I'm more cautious than my friends are when it comes to decision-making for what my life is supposed to be like. That's just the thing, though. What it's supposed to be is entirely up to me and what choices I make. Which is overwhelming and makes me feel way more out of control than reality.

For me right now, the future is more of a distant thing. It's something to not worry so much about right now. Crazy that I'm worrying. As much.

Classes haven't been too pressing these first few weeks, which I'm super relieved about.

I don't want my life to be "I should have" or "if only this hadn't prevented me from going out," etc. I want to seize every day and look at it with the unknown possibilities it holds.

I've been telling my loved ones in little messages throughout the last few days how much I appreciate them as I check on them, as well. I want to bring them joy in these still ultra-confusing times.

I started doing 15-minute yoga again. It doesn't take too much time out of the day, and it's very grounding and blissful. In addition to taking better care of myself, there was a snow day for my university, so classes were canceled.

I was very grateful for the mental health day. I was able to sleep a little longer and move slower than usual. I still did some work if the university opened up again the next day, but there was a delay until 10 am for classes.

I read the chapter for the class I'm missing tomorrow, but my roommate encouraged my preparedness anyways.

I found an album I haven't truly listened to in a while. "Supermarket" by Logic. It's not for everyone, but it brings me back to a time in my life when it was extremely comforting. He's never done another album like it, so it makes it unique.

I sped read a book these last few days, and I haven't done that since at least my sophomore year of high school. Being a bookworm is more of a challenge in the college setting, but I still try to read so I can take a break from more intense work.

Speaking of getting back into things, I way past time I get back into writing. Smaller projects (like journaling and blog posts) boost my motivation significantly.

Last weekend, I made a split-second decision to visit my family and friends on a weekend I wouldn't usually. It was last minute, but worth it. I finished a shorter chapter of my manuscript at midnight, in a hotel bed of all places. I ended up driving home really late on Sunday night. I was listening to my new 2022 playlist I crafted in the car, which has 140+ songs. I wanted to expand my horizons in my music taste, don't come for me.

I ended up journaling outside when it was 60 degrees a few days before a massive snowstorm (yeah, thanks, Midwest). It was nice to feel like the main character and just jot some things down that had been on my brain.

My goal for the spring semester is to be more outspoken with the people I've met from classes and/or previously known. I've had lunches with a friend from high school and two people from my creative writing class, who are both super cool. If this is where networking starts, I'm all for it.

Finally, the thing I was most excited about sharing in this blog was that my roommate and I got a LEGO bonsai tree with little pink frogs and cherry blossoms on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buy something comforting (or just get a small package of legos). Journal when you can, breathe, and take in the moment like you're meditating. Remember that people are there for you and will comfort you when you need them.

Take some time to commit to yourself and some much-needed self-care. It will work absolute wonders.

Stay safe and warm, my friends. <3