November 29th: Not Feeling Like a Monday, Ironically Enough

It feels like a Monday, but strangely doesn't at the same time. I had no caffeine, no pain meds and no food as I walked into class today. I came prepared though, having a peace tea, a pop tart and some meds to take after I'd had food. I thought I could lay low in the class and maybe present on Wednesday.

I was praying and hoping because I looked like a train wreck that rolled out of bed. Then he said the order was alphabetical. And I knew I was screwed.

I was the first one, because why not. So, I got up and did my PowerPoint, stuttering only a little, with my legs shaking. I've gotten better at public speaking since freshman year of high school, but it still gets my nerves going. At least I was trying to incorporate the class within the discussion, asking them what logic, emotion, and creativity were defined as. That was my research paper topic: how creativity can help treat mental illness.

I started up this blog kinda for that reason. A lot of research shows that if you write or create something for yourself and maybe even for others, it can bring a sense of direction and accomplishment to your life.

Creative expression is the reason I keep wanting to write. I was actively looking for things to post on here today. Even though it was Monday and I had three back-to-back classes, I found something on my campus that I'd probably passed a dozen times without truly looking at it.

This display definitely has been here, but I'd never looked at it longer than a few seconds. I wasn't even reading the plaques. I don't know what stopped me today, but something called to me that this needed to be shared.

This memorial is for Transgender Remembrance Day, and all the rainbow colored plaques had the names of the people who were taken too soon. I thought this was inspirational and needed to be mentioned.

It was empowering to come across this and realize that people in this world care about tragedy and want to do something to change it.

Switching gears, I figured out how to put YouTube on my computer and I started playing calming jazz piano: Christmas edition.

I took a break from working on homework to re-read a fun book. I actually ended up reading for two hours instead of twenty minutes. I got sucked into the story, what can I say? It's okay to treat yourself after a long day of classes, work and other commitments.

I had the window open, letting in the air. It wasn't cold, surprisingly enough. It was 73 degrees, in November! It was so nice to have that kind of Midwestern weather. I got back into my routine of working out and it was refreshing to feel productive.

I was laughing with some new friends at the choir concert tonight. I had such an interesting conversation with a girl who I didn't even know. We were sharing some deep thoughts and I did not know her in the slightest. It was weird, but intriguing. I got her name and the name of another girl, too. I'm trying to integrate into choir so that I feel like I have that family I can rely on.

Take a chance and just say something stupid to a random person who you stand by in choir or sit behind in class. If you mess up a word in your presentation, breathe and start again. Not everyone is out to get you. They're humans, just like you. And if you're in an activity with them, you can find that common ground to connect on.

Take breaks if you need them rolling into the finals season. Drink water and a hot Christmas beverage to remind you the holidays are approaching rapidly.

You got this :)